Three Years.

Three years ago, I gave myself to someone else.  It’s the best decision I ever made.    It was my favorite day in my whole life.  I don’t think I’ve ever smiled so big and hard.  I’ve never felt something to be so right or to have such peace about a decision.

I had never and never will commit to a more serious situation.

I entered a responsibility to show my husband and the world:

• what it looks like to die to yourself daily
• transformation
• what biblical manhood and womanhood look like
• the difference between a covenant and a contract
• the difference between commitment based on feeling and a covenant based on faith
• grace
• submission
• forgiveness
• kindness
• self-control
• love
• my sin at almost all times
• compassion
• sacrifice
• joy
• patience
• humility
• thankfulness

I’d be lying if I said every day since that day has been the best ever.  Sure, overall, these have been the best three years. 

However, it is a sobering thing to die to yourself daily. 

To live for and with someone else. 

To not think of yourself as number one or more highly than you ought.

To try and “out serve” one another (thanks Bill and Cindy – Micah totally wins every time).

I fail at so many of those bullets daily, multiple times a day in fact.

But by the grace of God, I am who I am, and I am HIS daughter, who chose me to be Micah’s helper and He gives me the grace to love and respect Micah.  

For the record, it’s pretty easy to love that man, except when I am being selfish.

So a prayer for these coming years is this:

That we would show how God has designed this one-flesh union of marriage as an image of Christ and His church.

That our marriage would help people see the significance and fullness of what it means for Christ to be one with His church.  That we would realize and see the significance of it.

That we would continue to die to ourselves and live for Him without reserve of what lofty opinions we have or others think. 

That we would show Haddon (and any other little arrows if the Lord chooses) what sacrifice, servant hood, and submission in love look like.

That we would do more for the Lord together, than we ever could apart.

Still one of my favorite passages ever.

If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. 3 For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. 4 When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

5 Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. 6 On account of these the wrath of God is coming. 7 In these you too once walked, when you were living in them. 8 But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. 9 Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices 10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. 11 Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all.

12 Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. 15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. 17 And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

 

He love me, He loves me not.

I can’t tell you the amount of times I questioned that little flower petal pulling saying throughout my teen years and into my early twenties.

Thank you Micah that I never have to question that…

When I have honey do lists a mile long… and all you really want to do is relax

When I ask you to shut your drawers and the closet every night before we can go to bed

When I violently shake you until you stop snoring long enough for me to fall asleep

When I spend more money that you ever wished I would have

When I don’t make your lunches

When I pay more attention to Haddon

When I send you 1000 emails a day

When I try to talk to you about serious things at the most inconvenient times

When I say things that gross you out

When we disagree

When I don’t answer my phone

When I don’t want to talk about it

When I’d rather go for a run

When I sound accusatory

When I am not gentle

When I say things or act a certain way I know you love me, I know you’ll forgive me (and quickly), and I know you will long suffer with me.

Thank you for loving me unconditionally.  Thank you for loving me like Christ, I am so undeserving of your consistency. 

Thank you for never letting me question (even on hard days).