Category Archives: children

Happy Birthday Poem.

Every year since I’ve been with Micah, I have made him a slideshow for his birthday. 

At the end of the slideshow I always read him some crazy poem I made up.

I figured the tradition must continue with Haddon! 


so here is Haddon’s  little birthday poem (a couple days late – it was a crazy weekend):


Oh Haddon, happy day sweet boy.

Today marks one year since your birth.

Besides your dad, you’re my favorite thing on earth

You have such a teachable heart

I never would have guessed that from the start

I pray He will make His face shine upon you

That I would care for you well too

You are a huge part of my mission

When showing people His great commission

You are my disciple little son

We’re running this race together and the fight has already been won

I’ve never worked so hard before

There is much work to do before you go out the door

I just love you so so much, come what may

I could smell your baby skin all day

You’ve changed me in so many ways.

I promise to love you dearly all of your days

Daddy and I strive to train and develop you in every place

Truly though, it’s only by God’s grace

You are His and not our own

In this life you are just on loan

Whether its 1 year, 20 years, or 63

I am so glad that God gave you to me

You are such a delightful child

The perfect combo of meek and mild


10 Months.


At this point I don’t feel crazy for planning your first birthday!

You are growing up quickly little one.

It was so great to spend over a week together on our family adventure to TX.

You were a champ and even did better than mama sleeping outside and hiking long distances (it probably helped that you were carried on our backs…).

Our family loves you so much and it brings me so much joy to see them with you.

This past month you got your two top teeth.

You are starting to balance without holding on to things, coast along toys, and can walk (a little) while holding on to your hippo walker.

You are a fanatic over certain toys and books (frog friend, duck, pat the bunny, veggies tale books that sing)

I am convinced that you talk.  You say mama (but is sounds more like mum mum mum), dada, ba (for bottle, book, block, bird, bear) really ba is what comes out of your mouth the most I would say, when you see a dog you say da, and open your mouth for kisses.  You also grunt a whole lot.  I think you want to say so much more than you are capable of right now.  So anyway, it is still more babbling than talking but it is the best!

You stopped nursing about a week ago, on your own.  I wanted to at least make it till a year but one day you wouldn’t do it, I tried to make you and you refused.  I realized how unnatural that was.  It was then that I realized that part of our relationship was done.  You haven’t tried to since.   I am so thankful that the Lord is faithful in not letting me feel guilty, depressed, etc about it.  I worked SO hard for a long time.  I don’t say that out of pride, it’s just that it was a struggle for us for a long time, I never made a lot, have a super slow let down, and had to pump all the time at work, on business trips, etc just to keep my measly supply up and I don’t regret one second of it.  I am thankful and I continue to be.  Thanks for making it easy for us to move on.

I was a little nervous that our bond wouldn’t be the same.  HA, boy was I wrong.  I can’t leave your sight when we’re home right now without you “scurrying” as fast as you can into whatever room I am in yelling “mum mum mum”.  I don’t know if it’s your age, the transition back from TX, quitting nursing, or a combination of all of it but this separation anxiety is annoying/pretty cute.  Just don’t do that too long please… I’d like to be able to go to the bathroom without you scratching my legs.  You still love your babysitters and strangers though!  That is a blessing; it’s just something about when we’re home you need to be with me…

You are the most extroverted baby I have ever seen.  You literally crawl on people at bible study and just make the rounds to see everyone who is there.   Seriously, you can be in the worst mood at home and we go some where and you LIGHT up.

Every month just gets better and better sweet son.  We love getting to know you.

You sweet son, are my greatest, hardest, fascinating, most motivating, delightful, changing, joyous, entertaining, hard earned and undeserved (in a good way) work.

Check out Haddon’s previous months here.

Eyes Wide Open

This morning my husband woke me up and would not let me give him my “5 minutes” hand signal.

He cuddled me, took away my down comforter, told me the coffee was ready, he went through it all.

I finally got up, hugged him back with eyes closed and went to wake up my baby to feed him.  Sometimes I think it’s so unfair the schedule he has to follow because of Micah and my life… but anyway…

I fed him and hopped in the shower.

As I reached up to grab the shampoo I (still groggy) almost knocked over every bottle that was on the shelf.  My first reaction – shut your eyes as tight as you can!  I didn’t think about it.  It’s just what happened.

As if closing my eyes was really going to protect me from the falling boulders… okay bottles, but still.

How often in life do we do that, especially in periods of unknown or suffering? Just wait for it to all be over?  For the next season to come, and this one to pass?

The older I get and the more I desire to be like Him, I am realizing you cannot just “be carried” by Him and then look back like the poem Footprints would have us do.

Sure, there are times we need to be carried, need to close our eyes and be still.

But really, I am realizing I want to WATCH what He is doing in my life, even when I don’t understand it.

There is only one way I can do that in the here and now, without it being reflection, and that is to keep my eyes wide open.

I will try to be like my son, everything is new and sometimes enjoyable, most things are changing constantly, and almost everything is not understandable or always enjoyable – yet he still watches and he follows (sometimes with whining).

Lord, help me be like an uncomplaining child, secure in Your love for me and my identity in You, when it comes to You teaching me, help me know You always have the best planned.  Help me keep my eyes open to You and close them from the distractions and lies of this world. Amen.



5 Months.

4 months

3 months

2 months

1 month

Haddon, at 5 months old you are getting more entertaining by the day!

We are about to go to grandma’s house for thanksgiving!!!  I can’t wait to bring you home to where I grew up.

I’ll make this quick.

Here are some major points for the past month:

Rolled over

Your cloth diapers prevent you from doing it as fast (and I think as quickly as you could have).  You have the hang of it now though, no matter which diaper you are wearing.


Went on a hike

You went on your first mountainous hike! You slept on daddy’s back almost the whole time until I nursed you at the summit.



You must have great eye sight like mommy and daddy.  You get so distracted these days!  I kind of imagine your little mind like Dori (she is a character from a cute movie I’ll show you someday).  Sometimes when nursing you get so distracted by… coffee, water, rings, voices, windows, name it, you are trying to see!!  I am pretty sure you see everything now.

Much more vocal

You are a squealer and I love it!


You make the craziest faces.  I can’t wait till you start talking; I just know it is going to be hilarious.

Rice cereal

You have eaten it a handful of times.  You don’t hate or love it, but you aren’t entirely sure what to do with it.  Since you are just fine on the caloric intake, I don’t give it to you much yet.  I am going to let you try something more yummy like sweet potatoes tomorrow.  Your pediatrician said: “it would be a shame not to let him!”

Sitting up

It’s getting there.  You topple over a lot though.

Loves bath time

Oh man, the hotter the better too.  If your water even gets lukewarm you start “yelling” at me and when I add warmer water you laugh.


Thanks to your baby Einstein activity jumper, you are learning to jump around.  Now when we hold you standing on our laps we have to be very careful because you keep on jumping!

We love watching you learn and grow sweet boy.

You darling, are my greatest, hardest, fascinating, most motivating, and delightful work.

3 Months.

One month.

Two months.

You were three months old Saturday baby Haddon.

You are capturing my heart more and more every single day.

The newborn stage seems so far away now because you are learning and growing so much, I love to see your little mind and body get so excited to discover new things (like your hands).

Once I started giving you a little formula to supplement our feedings you morphed into this happy little guy!  Poor thing you were probably hungry for the first month and a half of your life.  You have chunked up a lot.  We haven’t been back to the pediatrician yet but I have a feeling you are climbing the charts.

Supplementing is not something I looked forward to or ever wanted to do, I always wanted you to have “organic” but if I’m honest I don’t always eat the best things and I’m sure in your life you will get some Oreos if you want.  I just had to realize what was best was your nourishment and development and thank God there was something to help you with growing.  It has made mommy so much less stressed! Oh my goodness.  It’s awesome.

You sleep in your crib in your own room and I thank you for it.

You still don’t sleep through the night but you do go for long stretches, sometimes only waking once a night and then I get to snuggle you anyway.

If only… you didn’t have gas.  It tortures both of us when you get it.  Daddy has been known to walk up and down the sidewalks of our neighborhood before it’s even light out because being outside calms you and mommy needs to go back to sleep.

You still love to be swaddled when you are tired.  I worry though that your arms won’t be as strong because they are held down tight… haha

You only like your pacifier now when you are falling asleep.  If I try and put that thing in your mouth when you are hungry you yell at me and if I just try because I think you might want it you spit it out and look at me like, “really”?  Once in a while you will suck it when you have gas and make this silly nom nom noise.

You are a sensitive little thing and startle very easily.  I wonder if you will grow out of this or if you will always have a sensitive spirit.  You are very inquisitive; you would rather stare so intently than try to grab it so far.  I wonder what your little mind is thinking about since you don’t know words quite yet.  We’re working on them 😉

I love to “wear” you and I think you enjoy it just as much as I do.

You absolutely love to interact with faces.  Mouths and eyes are fascinating to you and it is amazing to watch you try and copy us with your little features.  My favorite thing to do with you is hold you in front of me and let you stand on my stomach and we just laugh and make silly faces and weird noises.  You especially love when daddy gets home and does the same thing.

You are starting to be interested in toys; I try to show you lots of them.  You don’t really show a really strong preference to any of them yet, but you do love your Sophie giraffe and little bug friends and that are attached to your stroller.

On your activity mat you get really excited talking to your friends (especially Mr. Sunshine) with the big eyes but then you get mad at them and start to “yell”.  I come to your rescue but not before I stand and laugh at you for a second because you are too darn cute.

The first time I sang you “you are my sunshine” your little face lit up and I think I’ve sung it to you every day since.

You have started to squeal and laugh.  It is the sweetest sound in the world to me and cracks me up every time.

I went back to work last week, but…

You sweet little one are my greatest, hardest, and fascinating work.

A Joyful Mother.

I almost didnt publish this because it has been a good day but I want to be honest.

These past few days have been rough.  Rough is an understatement really for the emotional turmoil my son’s digestive track is wrecking in my heart and mind.

While I am so thankful he is eating…

This week Haddon has been SO fussy, will only take naps if I am wearing him, needs to be held constantly, hardly smiley during his play/wake time, etc.

This morning is different.  I feel happier.

Circumstantial happiness:

He slept pretty well last night and even though I am wearing him right now as he goes on 2hrs of a nap I am getting lots of stuff done (today that includes doing my hair, makeup, two loads of laundry, making up two beds, sweeping three floors, moving some boxes, bringing in the cloth diapers from the line, and brushing my teeth).

I read in My Utmost for His Highest this morning this devotion


My joy has to come in doing this parenting thing because it is what the Lord has given me.  It is a great reward despite the difficult days.  The Lord’s will for my life is sanctification.  That has come in many ways including marriage and now mothering.

I’ve called Haddon, Haddon the handful (and Mr. grumpy pants) more than once this week to different people.  The truth is though he is human and some days his belly is going to hurt, he’s going to be gassy, or just plain in a bad mood sometimes.  Don’t we all have those days?

If I cant be joyful in my duty when he is an adorable baby, how will I handle the yucky stuff as he grows into a boy then man?

I am choosing to be joyful.  I want my son to feel that he was always loved and sacrificed for unconditionally no matter how he acted.

Hmm I guess I’m learning a little about the Father’s love for this wretched sinner that I am.  I sure am glad He parents me through the hard times and for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross.

Not because it made Him happy, no, but he counted it as great joy.

Just as a disclaimer, I do have plenty of happy moments with Haddon, but this parenting business is no easy feat and despite the adorable pictures I might post there are some crazy times.  Maybe I will have Micah take a picture of those. hah

Gift of Life.

Just reflecting a little on life today… seems fitting.

Of course, I am very thankful to be physically be alive and well but I am even more grateful to be spiritually alive to what my Creator has intended for this earthly life.

I realize each day is a gift.  There is no guarantee of tomorrow. 

So many blessings, so much to be appreciative of and content with.

I’ve shared my birthday with many people before, mom used to plan really fun little birthday parties, and when I grew older we would usually at least get together to eat and have dessert.

Something new this year- I’ve never actually shared my body with someone on my birthday…

a friend asked me if I felt any different being 26, and I said no, but what feels different is having 35lbs strapped to the front of your body.



You made me a mother this year, thank you for that gift.

Besides your daddy, no one has ever taught me to be so sacrificial, less vain, putting others needs and desires before my own.

It’s not always easy and no doubt it will just get harder, even if right now I can’t cross my legs and my back feels like it is bending like a bow.

Speaking of bows… I read this amazing quote yesterday:

“You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.  The archer bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the archer’s hands be for gladness.” – Khalil Gibran

Our pastor reminds us of the amazing truth that you are on loan to us little one. God chose me and daddy to be your parents, to raise you up and send you out.  You might be my baby right now, but I must constantly think of and help you prepare for making your mark for Him.  You have given me a new sense of purpose and a new role for my life, I’m 26 this year Haddon and Lord willing I have a lot left to do here, and I love that you are a huge part of that.

So as I continue to bend (kind of physically) but mostly figuratively, be patient with me sweet one, forgive me a lot, and let me love and teach you.  I know you will teach me more than I could have ever imagined.  You already have.

What I’m really excited about is celebrating YOUR birthday next month.

You are already such a gift to us!

Definition of Marriage.

Disclaimer: I am not writing this post to argue with anyone, so please save your energy for another blog if you do not have the same beliefs and that is your desire at the end of this post.

I use this blog as a platform of my faith and as a journal for my family.  That is what you are reading if you visit here.

I believe in the truth of scripture.  I believe that all of it is profitable. (2 Tim 3:16-17)

I believe you have to read it very carefully and have direction from the Holy Spirit to understand it fully.

I believe that marriage is as serious a covenant as can be- almost as serious as the one God made with His children (I said almost, after all, it is just a picture of it).

I believe that marriage is a God-ordained covenant that God defined and uses to refine and sanctify us.

I believe in God as creator and sustainer of the entire universe and all things in it, including and especially people.

I believe that God gave the first definition of marriage. (Genesis 2:18-25)

Thus, I cannot bring myself to believe we have the right to give marriage a new definition. “A definition of marriage that was established on Day Six of Creation and has been the benchmark of civilization for 6,000 years.” – Doug Phillips

Taken from John Piper’s blog (which I encourage people to read, which is in no way hateful, but very factual, according to Piper’s and most conservative Christian’s beliefs):

“God ordained marriage with the words: “A man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).  It is one thing to tolerate sin. It is another to build society on it.”

I do not believe in hating on people for their sin.  I would despise being hated on for my sin.

I do believe in loving people.  I do believe pointing people towards Him is the most loving thing we can do.

I will always think its interesting/unfortunate we talk about “certain” sins more than we do others.

What about pride, selfishness, covetousness, etc.  How come we don’t get in fueds and uproars about those things?

I do not believe in judging unbelieving, unrepentant people by God’s standards.

However with all of that said –

Just as public laws wouldn’t get changed or made if people didn’t speak out, God’s laws wouldn’t be remembered if people did not continue to tell them.

I have a responsibility to teach my son about God and call to remembrance the things God has done and said.

He is not going to grow up in a world where they are the most popular (obviously).

And so, with all this talk/fighting on the internet.  This is my very small way of standing up for what I believe God meant when He made marriage and why I will not vote otherwise.  Even if I get hated on by the people that tell me to stop judging/hating/etc (John 15:18–19)

I hope I have honored Him and His word like He commands 1 Peter 3:15

15 but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect

April Showers.

bring May babies? 

Well, probably not, and while my body might not mind it so much if he did come early, I think it’s best Haddon stays in there and continues to develop till he is good and ready to face this world.

This past month has been one of the busiest of the year.  We felt the support and generosity of friends and family like when we got married.  Only this time it felt a little crazier… I can’t explain it other than it is for our growing family.  It wasn’t just love for Micah and I (like when we were married and you all knew us), it has been love for someone none of us know yet, Haddon.  I have tears in my eyes as I think of the love for our son that has been shown.  We have such a picture of how God takes care of us and I honestly hope that I am as a joyful of a giver to my son in midnight feedings, etc as yall have been to us this past month. 

That idea of joyful sacrifice, giving of myself in all sorts of ways, etc is a post I’ll save for another time…  It came up this weekend traveling with Micah.  We have some of our best talks when we drive, I love it.

Anyway, we literally just need to get a breast pump I think.  I think he is pretty covered (for a while) with everything else.  To all who have loved us, thank you.  My thank you notes don’t seem like enough expression of our gratitude, but seriously, we appreciate you so much.

We have had every weekend jam packed with friends and family, and a lot of travel.  I could literally write a post about each weekend, all the amazing things, devotionals, prayers, people, presents, activities, etc involved.  I could post hundreds of pictures.  Maybe someday I will, but for now, here is a group shot from each weekend.

The first weekend of April, we spent in Roanoke at “cousin’s weekend”.

{Cousin’s Weekend}

The second weekend of April, we were in Harrisonburg, VA for a baby shower (plus other exciting events).

{Harrisonburg Shower}

The third weekend of April, we stayed home, had our moms in town, and went to a baby shower.

{By Grace Community Church Shower}

This last weekend in April, we went to Winchester, VA for a baby shower (had maternity pictures done and went to Warrenton for Mrs. Downs and Jenn’s birthday celebrations).

{Winchester Shower}

In case you are wondering how I am doing besides feeling overwhelmed with gratefulness. 

I still feel great.  Sleep is getting harder.  My middle region is getting larger (that might be an understatement).  My thoughts are going faster.   I am starting to slow down (kind of).  I am excited (and nervous). 

Tomorrow is May 1st , and the day I get to say “we get to meet our son next month”.

We have a ….

To my little baby,

I’ve always wanted you. 

I’ve wanted to be a mother for as long as I can remember.  Whenever anyone asked me what I wanted to be when I “grew up” I promptly answered “a mom and wife”. 

By God’s grace and the gift He gave me of your father, I am both.

The ultrasound tech said you looked great.

The doctor said your heart sounded like a happy baby.

When I was younger I just wanted to hold a baby, feed and change one, take it on walks and put it into cute clothes, take pictures, be a family, and many other fun things like that.

Now that I am “grown up” I am realizing the responsibility that comes with you little one and it’s the most intimidating thing, ever.  Not so much the feeding and clothing you part, but the fact that your daddy and I are the ones God chose to care for and nurture your soul.  What an amazing job to have.

There are so many things we want to teach you Haddon Isaiah.

After much debate we chose your name for these reasons:

1.  Original.  We know no one with your name.  Haddon means from a meadow.

2.  It comes from one of daddy’s favorite theologians: Charles Haddon Spurgeon.

3.  That guy happened to be saved when hearing a man preach from a verse in Isaiah (we chose your middle name before we realized that but it’s a neat coincidence).

Isaiah 45:22 – “Turn to me and be saved, all the ends of the earth!  For I am God, and there is no other.”

4.  Isaiah means “Yah is salvation”.   We pray you will spend your whole life searching out what that means.

Your mommy and daddy strive to live every single part of their lives through the bible and fortunately God’s word gives us lots of guidance on how to train you up.

Your birthday is in June and we can’t wait to meet you! 

PS: I hope you look like and are just like your daddy (in almost every way)!  😉