We’ve been praying for you for since the fall and dreaming about you for forever.
The idea of a created life living inside of me is incredible and just as much so the second time around, maybe even more so. We know what you are growing and developing into and it’s just amazing. Your big brother surprised us (and we are so glad), but you were thought through and prayed for and we are so glad to get to keep you this long already. You are my second baby and I am a second child, so for some reason I feel like we can relate already.
The first time I took a test to see if you existed, it told me no. I was really disappointed. Then two weeks later, it told me yes. I didn’t tell Haddon or daddy until after church one day, it was our little secret for a couple hours, and then I gave your daddy a toy quiver full of two arrows and your brother a book about being a big brother.
Being your mama is wonderful already.
However, I got sick a couple times and was a lot more nauseated than I was with Haddon, tired beyond belief, experienced way too many emotional waves, started showing earlier than I expected, but I am so glad to have you keeping me company and I can’t wait to find out more about who you are.
We already have your names pretty much picked out, no matter what that black and white picture show. I can’t wait to start calling you by name and telling your brother who to expect, who will be joining our family. He already tells you to “come out”. When my stomach makes noises he thinks it is you talking to him and makes a real surprised face and yells: baby talking! He also is getting more and more compassionate by the day: “don’t cry baby” to anything that looks upset and then hugs it. Although, I am so excited for you the thought of you brings me to tears. I hope I have the energy to be a good mama to you. I hope I have the patience to love and teach each of my children how they need. I know God will be my supply.
Your daddy is sweet as honey to me and started talking to you before you even developed ears. When he sees us he says: “my babies”! I am plural to him now because of you.
Whether I get to keep you 5 more months or 50 more years and no matter what you’re like, know that I love you no matter what and that you are so wanted. You are God’s creation. A life. A soul that He has entrusted to us. We will do our best to point you to Him and love you like He loves.
We find out what you are in less than a month!
PS: I wrote your brother letters each month after he was born, I hope to do the same for you…but don’t hold it against me if I don’t keep up, k?