Monthly Archives: December 2013
I have been dwelling on Proverbs “Train Up a Child” in the past couple months.
At some point, I’ll share a short devotional I prepared for some sweet expectant mommies at church on that verse and Deuteronomy 6.
Today though, I want to remind myself of something I don’t want to forget when the next baby comes along. Maybe it could help someone else out there too.
As it is for most things, children need to be trained.
I am as “hippie wanna be” as you can get. Well that’s not true, I could be much more haha but one thing that I do not adhere to when it comes to my personal preference for parenting is not getting good and private sleep. It wouldn’t be healthy for me, for my husband, or for our marriage. Personally, I don’t think it would be healthy for Haddon either.
Now, don’t get me wrong…
- Do I sleep well every night? No
- Does Haddon sleep through the night every night? No
- Does my husband sometimes wake me up snoring more than my son? Yes
However, overall Haddon is a good sleeper unless there are factors like travel, teething, and so on.
I don’t attribute this to his personality, that he has a comfortable bed, etc.
I attribute it to prayer and training (and that he gets his pacifier lol).
He had to be trained to sleep and to sleep on his own.
Now, I know some may not agree with “crying it out” and truthfully I hate that terminology for sleep training.
Yes, I used to let Haddon cry for a little bit, but you know what – it never took more than two or three nights before he would “get it”. So we have trained Haddon to sleep multiple times, after teething, after growth spurts, after sickness, etc.
In my opinion though, if there are no contributing factors – babies need sleep and so do parents!
I know hearing babies cry can be the worst, but it doesn’t happen long and sleep is so essential for health.
Like most goals, think of the end result. Think about when adults have to learn something… it isn’t always easy, it’s sometimes painful, etc but it is always worth it.
Training is hard work. I don’t even want to think about the day when we work with Haddon to train him to sleep without his doe doe, but it will happen someday (not soon) because he isn’t going to be three with a stuffed animal hanging from his mouth.
Some of my “must haves” for getting my best sleep:
– freshly made sheets
– my fan on
– water beside my bed
– super comfy loose clothes
– wash my face, brush my teeth, put on acne treatment gel, astringent, and moisturizer
– go to the bathroom before I drift off (even if I went when I did my face and teeth regimen)
– read (whether its blogs, books, or whatever – just to wind my mind down)
I liked this blog I read this morning on family bedtimes and mornings. It’s not so much about sleep training but about the culture you create around bedtime and mornings.
My favorite line was: “I think age has so little to do with when our kids should be in bed and more to do with what you want your home to look and feel like.”
In our house, I think every night should begin with cuddling and praying and every morning should begin with cuddling and saying: “happy day”! Apparently that is how I used to wake my mom up when I was little and I am trying to teach Haddon to do the same.
Don’t even ask what I do when Micah tries to wake me up… I really like sleep!
What do you like in place in order to sleep? What are your family’s nighttime rituals? Do you sleep train? Did sleep training work for one kid and not the next?
Haddon is a year and a half (well on Sunday). What?! Where did my baby go?
Well, he will tell me he is a baby.
Me: “Haddon are you mommy’s baby or big boy?”
Haddon: (grinning) “baby”
He is SUCH a delightful child – seriously.
He thanks you for changing his bum, giving him his drink, helping him with something, also… when he rips things out of your hand…perhaps that makes it okay to him haha
He is sleeping and eating well despite lots of transition.
We can reason with him – “you can’t get down and play until you eat one more bite”
He learned how to do a shapes “pubble” – mostly memorization… but it’s still awesome to see his gears going.
He is getting more descriptive in his speech. He pointed to my nightstand and said “mama’s cup”. This morning, he asked me to “open that”. I don’t think it will be long before he is really talking!
One of my favorite words he says is: peeeeple (about his fisher price people).
He is a lot more demanding:
“Come?” – When he wants to come if you walk out of a room, etc
“Pull” – When he wants you to pull him on his little blue truck. I could list so many… really, I think now that he knows what so many things are, and so he wants to express them.
Haddon really knows some of his family members now. He loves to say “Pa!” and calls his Aunt Stephanie “boo boo”. She is the queen of peek-a-boo with him and he loves to facetime her.
Haddon is really obsessed with his wubanub (which is pacifier with a stuffed animal attached to it… Micah calls his pacifier a stogie and somehow from that he got doe doe) and blankie. He literally shrieks when he gets to have those things. We try to limit them to sleep time so he gets super excited to get in his bed. So sometimes he will ask to play in his crib so he can have it. The only picture we have of him smiling from our Christmas shoot is because he was wrapped in his blanket and Micah was waving his dag on doe doe in front of him like bait.
I went on a 5 night business trip to TX this past month (that was hopefully the longest and last time I have to do that) and I did okay except for a couple tears one night. When I finally saw him, I bawled my eyes out when he ran to me and hugged me. It’s typical that if I haven’t seen him he will squeeze me and say “mama, mama” over and over and then step back and look at me like… its really you. I lose it every time.
I am so thankful for this child that points me to the wonder of God and creation, every.single.day.
“Go Time” is a phrase we used in college at the ministry house when 4 girls were trying to prepare for a dinner, a bible study, a fellowship hang out, be somewhere with 4 crock pots of chili, etc We all would bust out everything so quickly if we yelled “go time”! I loved those years.
I feel like the last two months of life have literally flown by.
We both have SO much going on personally and professionally that some days I really can’t believe it or understand how we do it, and then I remember: by His grace, His gift of faith, and a marriage that with our very different attributes mesh together well to make us a heck of a team, even apart (sans some miscommunication sometimes), also friends and family – ya’ll rock.
I laugh to myself when I think of how God works with us: wait, wait, wait, do you trust me? I want you to trust me, okay… GO TIME.
We are still in the wait, trust me phase but are prepared for the go time and have a sliver of a glimpse of what that will look like.
I was telling some family and friends yesterday, it is such a blessing to not be anxious or worried about what is coming. That doesn’t mean I don’t have my moments, I do.
Overall, I trust in a good and big God who has known my days and the plans for my family before time began…talk about tidings of comfort and joy! Thank you Christ for giving me a new mind.
I’m on night four of a business trip. I have been doing great honestly. 10 – 12 hr days don’t leave a lot of room to miss. Tonight though when the noise stopped and I got back to my room I missed my boys something fierce.
I love you Micah and Haddon, and I hope you know my most joyful jobs in the world comes from being your wife and mama. As we go through so much transition and are house hunting, etc. This week is just more reassurance that I don’t need my dream home. I just want to be with you two. My real work and accomplishment come by living out the duties that the Lord has given me through living with you two.
Hearts are fickle. I know when I get home I will care about square feet and lot size and kitchen appliance year and color, etc. Maybe it isn’t my heart that is fickle it’s my perspective in general. I pray my eyes would be fixed on eternal things where Christ is, and not of things of this earth.
I am reminded this week of how much is on this earth. People that don’t know the Lord. We can live in our perfect little dream houses and bake the mailman cookies, and visit firemen, etc but unless we point back to why we do the thing we do, why we think the things we think, why we believe the thing we believe, it is for naught. It isn’t about being the most successful, of the most intelligent, be the light. Be Christ. That is all you can be, that or self consumed with your identity in the wrong place.
What is this week in light of eternity? Micah has had more time with friends than if he was home with me wanting to cuddle and clean. Haddon has had important time with grandmother and Pa. He will not be ruined because I was away from him for a week. God forbid I should think something like that and then get sickly and really have to be away from him. Humans adapt, that is for sure. I am not Micah’s wife or Haddon’s mama. If something tragic happened to Micah I would no longer be his wife. Or the same with Haddon… wherever I am, whoever I am with, I am to be Christ. Lord help me be more like you.
We get in our heads what life SHOULD look like, let my prayer be… YOUR will Lord, in whatever season, for however long, let me honor you with what is in front of me.
Right now, that means another two nights away. Whatever is in front of me, help me to sing Halleluyah.