I felt a tug this morning driving to work, like today might be important or something.
I checked my calendar… bible study tonight. That’s special but I don’t feel a tug every Tuesday.
Then I checked my calendar from 2012.
One whole year since I went back to work after my maternity leave.
There is so so much I could say about what I have learned – good and bad about myself.
I don’t want to just talk about myself in this post though.
I also want to thank the ladies who care for my son while I am away from him 40+ hours a week.
Haddon has had a handful of caregivers this year.
Katie, Mindy, Jessie, and Dawn…
Haddon is who he is because of all of us.
We nurture him differently. We feed him differently. We play with him differently. We love him differently. Yet we all care for him.
Words don’t adequately express how much I have needed you this year. How Micah, Haddon, and I have needed you.
I can go to work without anxiety because the Lord has helped protect my heart and mind from worry. He has used ya’ll to help take those worries from me.
As you may or may not be able to tell… I’m slightly type A and a little bit of a control freak.
The Lord has worked with me on this though… and one of the ways He does this is allowing me to truly and genuinely believe I am not in control of my child’s life, He is. To me that means no matter who is with him, the Lord is Haddon’s ultimate caretaker.
He has allowed you sweet ladies to help me feel secure in his well-being Monday through Fridays.
That’s a big lesson for me to learn… control. You have helped me learn one of the most valuable lessons I think I ever will.
Thanks for being a part of my sanctification.
I trust you all and appreciate you so much.
I also love that you know him and can share in the joy Haddon’s life brings. That I can talk to you about him. That I can message, call, and ask for pictures and you don’t think I’m crazy (or do you…?) That I can call and ask you for advice because you know his normals and you know his wackies.
Thank you for loving and serving our family the way you do in this season of life.
So I think the tug on my heart is a little bit of sadness that he is growing so quickly, but also a whole lot of gratefulness. A whole year’s worth.