Monthly Archives: March 2013
I need to remember this day.
What started out as terrible turned into the best day, and a whole lot of lessons were learned along the way.
It was 8:30 pm we had cleaned the house, gone grocery shopping, fed and changed the baby and were ready for the drive to Warrenton. After having just re-sleep trained him, we weren’t ready to mess up his schedule before the big camping trip in Texas. He slept the whole way. The plan was working perfectly. We get to Warrenton around 11 and try to make the transition from car seat to pack n play. UTTER FAILURE. The softie in me couldn’t let him “cry it out”. He was in a new room, new things, he heard his grandparents voices. What if he was scared?… But by midnight or a little later I couldn’t take it. “Micah take a turn with your son. We are not going hiking tomorrow. Text your friends right now and tell our friends to go without us. Well at least we aren’t getting up at 6am to go. This is crazy, we are crazy”.
Micah lovingly takes Haddon and gives him a comfort bottle (don’t judge) and sings him back to sleep. Of course it works. I for real think babies can sense your mood, and mine had not been nice.
I text my friend Beth: “So Haddon did not take the transition from car seat to bed well… Don’t know if the time will change, will keep ya posted.”
Micah texted his friends but his text made it sound like we definitely wouldn’t be there on time.
After playing a noise app all night long my phone died. I didn’t tell Beth that the time HAD indeed changed.
The whole way to the mountain I tell Micah I am still excited to be going but I can’t shake the disappointment I feel that we missed our friends, that I failed texting Beth a more accurate estimate of our ETA, etc etc. I tell him if we are going to do fun things with Haddon we should never, ever, under any circumstances have expectations like arrival times (he reminds me that we will never hang out with anyone else if that’s the case…). Oh, right. Well how about just not early ones then.
If you know my friend Beth, you know that she is grace personified. She exemplifies Christ like no other. Forgiveness and Mercy are her nature.
She waited for two hours for us at a little café in Sperryville, VA. We miss each other dearly and she wanted to be with us Saturday. Thank you Beth. Once again in life you show me what forgiveness, patience, and sweetness look like.
We get to the trailhead at 10:30 finally.
The others had started of course.
Old Rag Hike is an interesting one… what starts as a nice steady incline towards the mountain turns into a rock scramble before you even hit the rocky summit, coming down the mountain is steep but you end up on a scenic fire road that is a little easier on the heart and lungs (not so much your calves and toes).
We decide to take the fire road up. Micah and I have done the hike together a couple times; Beth hasn’t yet so she doesn’t know she is “missing” the rock scramble. We also figure we have to run into our other friends if we take this way.
I am SO glad we did.
The whole way up, every other adventurer coming down says: “oh there is a lot of ice ahead” “you might want to turn back” “you have a baby on this hike?”.
I was already in a good mood.
Something happens to me in the mountains. Their magnificence points me to God and gives me strength every time I’m in them. I see them on 64 and tear up. I miss them so much.
Instead of feeling disappointed again, I kindly smile and say “oh, how far up? Thanks for the warning. Don’t worry we know we might have to turn back”
My husband rocks and carried that sleeping baby on his back the whole way. We took the snowy path less traveled. It was icy in some parts but we were wearing good shoes and utilized the trees like they were the best walking sticks around.
We meet up with our friends at the summit. Eat, take pictures, hide behind trees and from people to pee and head back down the same way we came up. We hiked back down all together having fun conversation about mountain people, babies, insane past hikes, and everything in between.
It’s okay that we didn’t do the whole loop.
It’s okay that we were late.
It’s okay that Haddon didn’t nap in his pack n play.
It’s okay that other people were shocked to see a baby on a mountain.
We know our strengths, we trust our God, and we know our limits.
It was the best day. Haddon loved being outdoors. He slept amazing that day and that night.
I am so thankful I didn’t let disappointment in the way things were supposed to go cripple me from enjoyment. We want to adventure with our kids. I want to be calm and fun. Not frazzled and distressed when things go differently.
I learned a lot Saturday. Grace not perfection…
One in particular is that I need to unplug more often. It was so nice to only use my phone as a camera and nothing else.
If anyone ever stumbles across this blog and wants a few tips on how we fed, changed diapers, etc on a mountain. Comment and I’ll be glad to share what worked and what didn’t for us.
You are growing so much!
In fact, this month more than any, people comment about how you look more like a little boy and less like a baby.
You are transforming right before our eyes in so many ways.
Daddy and I are blessed to have front row seats to see the miracle that is: human development.
You are miraculous son.
There is absolutely nothing ordinary about the way God made you and how He sees fit to have you developing. You are so extraordinary and there is not one other person JUST like you. Sure, I read the development books to see if you are in the “normal” range and learn what to do to urge you forward with your next stage… but in reality, there is no such thing as normal, the way everything in you has to go together to even function is just amazing.
Human design is incredible.
I will definitely always remember this month.
Unfortunately, it had one of the worst weeks in it. You got sick baby – Flu B.
It was so discouraging for me.
For a lot of reasons…
1) I hadn’t planned on it. You don’t know this about mommy yet but I get a little tiffy when things don’t go according to “plan”. Daddy is much better at this than me and he helps steady me and bring me back to eternal perspective. Probably one of the many reasons God gave him to me.
2) I was anxious. Often times, I mediate on “do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication, make your requests to God and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding, will guard your heart and mind”. Well, when rubber met the road, I still got anxious. What if you weren’t ok? What if your fever got too high? What if you had some weird virus and not just the flu and it would take you from us? Not good Haddon… God is in control of your little life. So I learned that, I may not be anxious when things are “fine” – well duh, that isn’t a true test! But in a trial, I do get anxious…
3) I am selfish. When someone is sick a lot of things have to go on halt to care for them and get them better. No going out, interrupted sleep schedules, taking leave from work (I had a deliverable that week…), no working out, and I missed a business trip – to which I cried and rocked you, looking at you with a river of tears down my cheeks saying, “I promise I think you’re more important I really do, I just really wanted to go” You just looked at me with your big blue eyes, oblivious to any problems and sucked away at your Wubanub. It’s just that I love meeting with the client Haddon, it makes what I do a lot more meaningful. To show them what we are creating for them and get their approval. If I am going to be away from you for lots of hours a week, I want what I do to mean something to someone. So it’s always nice to see that it does. It’s okay though. It was a reminder that YOU are the most important thing I do right now (besides love your daddy).
4) I thought you would stay healthy. One of the BIGGEST reasons I still pump/breastfeed even though I hardly make anything anymore is because I want you to have that little antibody shot. I hardly make a bottle all day… but I think of it like your bottle of vitamins. It failed in protecting you from that nasty virus. What pride it revealed…
5) I got sick too. Praise the good Lord your dad didn’t. He would get home and I would immediately hand you to him and go curl up on the couch with a blanket and bowl of soup and watch a movie. One night I just started bawling my eyes out (it’s what I do when I don’t feel good) and so your dad was hugging me and holding you and you looked at me with the sweetest face in the world like “what’s wrong/ why are you making that noise?” and then you put your little hand on my cheek. I’m choking up right now just thinking about it. It’s the first bout of sympathy I’ve seen you show. It was to me, your mama, who I’m pretty sure has felt more emotions for you than anyone else. It was the best for them to be reciprocated.
Anyway kiddo, needless to say… it was a very hard week for me. If I thought we couldn’t get any closer, I was wrong. Lots of snot and tears were shared between us.
– Our sleeping got so messed up when you were sick. Probably cause I would come to your every noise and then some. I didn’t want your fever to get too high, I wanted you to be held if you didn’t feel good, etc. Oh man did we pay for it after though… Boot camp: Haddon learns to fall back asleep on his own started two weeks after your being sick. It involves a bedtime routine (a flexible one! We aren’t too regimented…), not being swaddled anymore, and laying you down still awake. The first night you protested for 45 minutes. The fourth night you laid your sweet little head down and went to sleep. Not a peep. I am hoping this will continue.
– You clap.
– You love to play hide and seek. Well mostly just seek… you get so thrilled to find us! You crawl toward us with your mouth wide open, breathing really hard in excitement.
– You can give high fives.
– You are starting to “dance” a little bit. This mostly looks like dropping your bum a little ways over and over.
– Daddy taught you to shake your head no… and while at first I didn’t think you understood how the two go together… you are starting to do it when you don’t like things… oh boy.
– You are getting super fast at crawling. Sometimes you go so fast towards something you want that you face plant. It’s pretty funny.
– You are teething. Which ones are coming!? You already have two little ones on the bottom.
– You don’t like bland food, at all. So I try and jazz things up for you a bit. I wouldn’t want food without any seasoning on it either. Grandma’s tomatoes are a favorite, as is a little pesto sauce.
– A favorite book right now is Pat the Bunny. You love to play “peek-a-boo with Paul”.
Next month, we are going on hopefully one of your first of many adventures! Dad is already letting you practice by crawling around in our tents and putting you to sleep in your pea pod.
Check out the previous months on Haddon’s page.