Eyes Wide Open
This morning my husband woke me up and would not let me give him my “5 minutes” hand signal.
He cuddled me, took away my down comforter, told me the coffee was ready, he went through it all.
I finally got up, hugged him back with eyes closed and went to wake up my baby to feed him. Sometimes I think it’s so unfair the schedule he has to follow because of Micah and my life… but anyway…
I fed him and hopped in the shower.
As I reached up to grab the shampoo I (still groggy) almost knocked over every bottle that was on the shelf. My first reaction – shut your eyes as tight as you can! I didn’t think about it. It’s just what happened.
As if closing my eyes was really going to protect me from the falling boulders… okay bottles, but still.
How often in life do we do that, especially in periods of unknown or suffering? Just wait for it to all be over? For the next season to come, and this one to pass?
The older I get and the more I desire to be like Him, I am realizing you cannot just “be carried” by Him and then look back like the poem Footprints would have us do.
Sure, there are times we need to be carried, need to close our eyes and be still.
But really, I am realizing I want to WATCH what He is doing in my life, even when I don’t understand it.
There is only one way I can do that in the here and now, without it being reflection, and that is to keep my eyes wide open.
I will try to be like my son, everything is new and sometimes enjoyable, most things are changing constantly, and almost everything is not understandable or always enjoyable – yet he still watches and he follows (sometimes with whining).
Lord, help me be like an uncomplaining child, secure in Your love for me and my identity in You, when it comes to You teaching me, help me know You always have the best planned. Help me keep my eyes open to You and close them from the distractions and lies of this world. Amen.