Monthly Archives: March 2012

1 year, 9 months.

That’s how long I’ve been married to my sweet husband.

Today he woke me up like he usually does.

With sweet kisses and getting back into bed even though he has been up for 2 hours, to cuddle for a minute until I can actually open my eyes.

Then he did what he does sometimes,

him: “do you need some coffee?”

me: makes a sound that resembles mhmm

him: back with the coffee, holding it up to my nose, “come on make your noise”.

me: mmmm (you have to hear it in person to understand)

While he took a shower I prayed, and sipped my coffee, and rubbed my belly thanking God for our son.

He came out and we read a letter from a book called “Note to Self”.  It is an excellent quick read, good for devotionals, etc.  We highly recommend it.

This morning’s was a note to self about pride, the instigator of all sin.  So good, humbling, and convicting.  Wonder what I’ll do with it today? 

Portion of 1 Peter 5:5 God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble.”

Yesterday, Micah’s co-workers threw him and another lady a surprise baby shower.  I was invited to come be part of the surprise.  It was our first “shower” and as I saw him hold up those mini shoes and onsies, open the diapers and say he is going to try and change all of them (apparently our pastor gave him this advice, Kevin Hass- thank you.period.), hear his co-workers talk about how nice, sweet, helpful, and humble he is, and hear Micah talk about Haddon’s upcoming arrival with a sparkle in his eyes, I felt more blessed by the second.

Who am I that I get to spend my life with such an awesome man of God?  It is evident he has an awesome reputation because of the transforming work Christ has done in his life, and it’s not only obvious to me.

We were learning about qualities of elders on Sunday and my heart literally felt like it was getting bigger and more grateful with every characteristic taught.  I don’t care if Micah is ever an official “elder” of a church.  He embodies so many things biblical men are supposed to look like.  I am more than proud of him.

I am also humbled that he is my leader.  I can’t wait to see him father Haddon.

We’ll spend our 1 year, 9 month anniversary by going on a Riverside Hospital Tour for labor and delivery and then scootin on over to bible study.  When we get home we’ll eat Kate Sacra’s wedding cupcakes as is our monthly anniversary tradition.

I am thankful for one more day of waking up by his side, and one more month of marriage.  I hope for many more.

Thank you Father for my sweet husband who teaches me and makes life so full.

Forsaken.

Not a word used commonly these days.

The meaning behind the word happens far too often though.

Forsake: abandon, desert, leave in straits, leave helpless, totally abandon, to leave behind

(the word occurs many times in scripture, do a search and read all the different contexts!)

I’m sure at some point in our lives, every human being can relate to feeling forsaken for some reason from some situation by someone.

Or you know someone that has been forsaken. 

Oh that word sounds so harsh though doesn’t it?   We can hear the responses flow…

–          “Well you should know what they did”

–          “How they treated me”

–          “What I had to deal with”

–          “How they really acted”

The list goes on and on.

In my daily bread promises this morning I read, “It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”

Some stories on the news are insane right now.  That’s not really anything new I suppose, but three have really got me thinking…

–          The soldier who went on a killing spree

–          The neighbor who shot the harmless teenager

–          A mom killing her babies and putting them into a river

It’s repulsive, heinous, sickening, and evil – no matter what the intent.

Without forgiveness shouldn’t these people be forsaken, shouldn’t our justice systems forsake them and lock them up for life (or worse), shouldn’t these people get what is coming to them, what they deserve.

It would make perfect human sense for their families and friends to forsake them.

A wife of one of the men that killed said: “It wasn’t like him, I still love him”. 

I have no idea of that woman’s standing with God or where she gets the strength to say that and feel that way.

When I read that verse this morning I got to thinking about how we all deserve to be forsaken.  None of us deserve forgiveness.

We all deserve death.  The wages of sin is death and we are all sinners.  Through Christ we have forgiveness of sin and reconciliation with God.  Thank the Lord (literally) we don’t always get what we all deserve.  That we don’t have to be forsaken.

Have we all not also forsaken at some point in time, someone, no matter for how long?…

I hate to use specific examples running through my mind right now; in fear that if you have forsaken someone for one of these things in mind that you are somehow worse than someone else that had the strength to forgive.

….

I was so comforted and challenged at the same time this morning. 

He does not forsake me.  I am His.  How comforting.

He does not forsake me.  I am to act like Him.  How challenging.

I am so blessed to have a husband.  We get to show each other Christ daily by forgiving and forbearing.  Is there anything he could do to make me want to forsake him?  Sure.  He is human and I am human.  We vowed not to though, in sickness and in health, in poverty and plenty, in good times and bad.  Those fit almost every circumstance in life, no?       

I am so blessed and feel more challenged than I ever have in my life to live like Christ to this son who will be entering the world in a few short months.  I am to teach him character.  Who will he learn that from but by looking to his father and I?  Will I show him someone who forgives and loves unconditionally (no matter what)?  Or will I show him a short wired fuse and when he _________ (insert whatever mistake here), and even for a moment or second let him forget that we are for him not against him?

I am so thankful for this reminder of truth today.  I pray it causes you to ponder and consider as well.

If you want a song to be blessed by, Matt Wertz’s I will not take my love away has been on repeat for a while.

Here are the lyrics:
I will not take my love away
When praises cease and seasons change
while the whole world turns the other way
I will not take my love away
I will not leave you all alone
When striving leads you far from home
And there’s no yield for what you’ve sown
I will not leave you all alone
I will give you what you need
In plenty or in poverty
Forever, always, look to me
And I will give you what you need
I will not take my love away

Beginning of Third Trimester

Well we’ve hit it!  The third trimester!!

I am so excited to reach this milestone.

Random things in no particular order:

–   I’ve gained 20lbs (20lbs?! I still have 13 weeks to go!)

–   I love that strangers smile at me for no reason.

–   I love that strangers hold the door open for me even if they aren’t going in the same door.

–   My co-workers are nice and don’t mind if I’m the first to get in line for food when we have it provided.

–   I think maternity clothes are the most comfortable items to wear, ever.

–  People at work tell me I’m not allowed to stress (this month has been insane with deliverables) because I’m prego.

–  I ordered these prenatal workouts, and I only like one of the dvds (it comes with three).  The Pilates and yoga are the slowest!!!  The fit and burn one wears me out in a good way though.

–  Haddon is SO active.  Micah always tells him he is doing a good job and to keep it up, I think that’s perhaps why he moves around so much 😉  along the same lines… no longer are they little flutters or kicks, I’m pretty sure he does summersaults in there.  Hopefully he is moving out of breech position.  There is this one spot under the left rib cage that always feels like he is moving some body part upward just a little…

–  I am currently reading:

The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding

The Thinking Woman’s Guide to a Better Birth

Natural Hospital Birth: The Best of Both Worlds

Birthing from Within: An Extra-Ordinary Guide to Childbirth Preparation

We’ll see if these get finished before June.

–  I started putting Haddon’s room together in the house we are living in and even though it’s not exactly what I would do if it were my own place (there would be paint, wall hangings, etc) I love the simplicity and sweetness of it already!

–  Every weekend in April is filled with showers and family time.

–  It is harder and harder to move and even just get out of bed (sometimes I do a little kick to propel me up).

–  I feel as though I don’t have enough skin and if I overeat literally feel as though I could pop.  I still don’t have stretch marks though (I like that).  Although the linea nigra did decide to come out…

–  I have my glucose test coming up in a couple weeks and I am not allowed to eat sugar that day because of this crazy drink I have to consume right before my appt.  Why did I make my appt at 2pm?!  I should have made it for 8:30am and gotten it over with.

–  I still feel great, I had realllllly light spotting one day that forced me to rest, freak out momentarily, and then remind myself that this is God’s child not mine and to trust Him.  It hasn’t happened since.

–  I still feel great BUT I can feel my energy slipping away more and more… I don’t know if it is because of our move and how busy work has been or just normal for this point in pregnancy.

– I absolutely love that two of my close friends here are pregnant.

This picture was at 26 weeks (I didnt like the one I took this morning).

Second Trimester.

I cant believe I’m almost into my third trimester.  I’ll be 25 weeks on Saturday.  So, a little update on where/how I am!

Gender

You probably saw we are expecting a little boy! We love calling our son by name – Haddon (pronounced “Had-dun” not “Hay-den”) Isaiah.

Research

Name it and I have probably been looking it up.  We plan on a hospital natural birth using the Bradley Method and have signed up for fast track classes in May (they recommend a 10-12 week course, and frankly we just don’t have that kind of time commitment to give right now).  I have been doing a lot of reading and am really looking forward to trying this method.  It is just the right mix I think of doing things naturally and encouraging medical help if your body or baby needs it.  The idea of birth used to either a) gross me out or b) freak me out.  It’s not that it doesn’t do either anymore… haha but I feel so much more informed on…well, everything.  There is so much to know.  If you are a pregnant mom for the first time, do yourself a favor and read up on your body, what happens to your baby, etc!  I can’t imagine going into labor ignorant of what I’ve been learning.  Birthing books I recommend so far are: Natural Childbirth: The Bradley Way, and Husband Coached Childbirth. I have a long list of others but dont want to recommend them until I get to them.

Granted…this is all hoping I have a very normal labor.  I know not to be unrealistic though.

 

Registering

This was fun of course! I only went with amazon.com because frankly I hate going to stores, and I don’t like how there are a) too many options, and b) too many of the same “theme” of things.  I went with lots of neutral stuff so it can be reused and requested boy specific things as well.  One of my favorite parts of registering was that on Amazon you could put in comments/notes to the side of the item, so I pretended to be Haddon and state why we were requesting the particular item.  I tried to keep it pretty minimal and simple.

 

Body Changes

Well obviously my body looks a lot different than it did in the first trimester.  I started showing a lot around 20-22 weeks.  I love it.  It means he is growing.  Don’t get me wrong… as a girl who has always been small I struggle a tiny bit when I see the scale, but I collect my thoughts quickly.

As far as health, I am counting my blessings.  I am almost an ideal “by the book” pregnancy.

I have dealt with some bad dreams, a little trouble sleeping, a few leg/foot cramps, some heartburn, and now a sore back if I do too much, but I really can’t complain.  I still feel great. 

 

Emotions

There have been a lot of those flying around for obvious life change reasons, plus hormones.  One time I had a break down because Micah told me he loved me and wanted to spend time with me, and one time because he pretended to be a husband that just got home from work and was like “where is dinner, can you bring me a beer?”  I lost it.  Haha He just laughs with me and asks if there is anything he can do.  Nope babe, just a little crazy right now.

Something else though is sometimes I feel things deeper than I used to.  Deeper appreciation for Micah, deeper love for Haddon, deeper concerns, etc.

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless–it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, and irredeemable.” – C.S. Lewis

I am SO vulnerable right now.

 

Baby Movement

It’s one of my favorite things in the world when I feel Haddon.  It started out as light little flutters and every week they get stronger.  The first time I noticed a huge difference, it literally felt like he was wiggling around in there, or dancing, swimming, something!  You could see my stomach skin move in waves.  Micah enjoys feeling them too and always yells at him through my stomach wall: “good job buddy, keep up the good work”.  Haddon gets stronger all the time.  I wonder if that means he likes something or hates something… or does he just move around in there?

 

Eating/Working Out

I eat a lot.  I love cheese.  Weight gain is a little higher than what it should be (according to the range “they” recommend)…  I still try to work out about 3-5 times a week but I keep it really basic (besides the week we moved, that was enough work out in itself).  Although, forget any stomach, leg lift in front of stomach, etc workouts – uncomfortable and of course you don’t notice any changes! haha 

Oh and I drink coffee again. 

 

What’s Next?

Since I’m pretty much going by the book right now, I like to know what to expect while I’m expecting…but Im not naïve enough to think at any point in time that could change (I’m soaking it up while I can).

There are lots of showers coming up!  Not just for me, I do event planning at church and we have 4 baby showers and 3 bridal showers so far since Feb – “ending” around Sept (for now). 

There are also lots of weddings coming up this spring/summer; I hope I (maybe even Haddon) can make appearances to the ones we’re invited to.

Our church is transitioning to a new building, in the City Center (where I work)!

My big sister graduates with her master’s in May and my baby brother graduates high school and is joining the Air Force.  It’s an exciting time of celebrating life I tell ya!

What I don’t know about what happens next is where we will live, how we will work, etc… and it’s insane where your mind can take you if you let it.  Good thing I am practiced on not worrying, have been given a sound mind, and am able to captivate thoughts quickly.  I am so thankful for the gift of faith bestowed on me and renewed in me day by day.

 

What I am NOT looking forward to

Figuring out how to work/have Haddon taken care of…

 

What I am looking forward to

Almost everything else, especially just meeting our son! 🙂

 

Picture

I have been TERRIBLE at taking pictures of my growth, which surprises me, I thought I would be the type to take one every week… 

Here I am at Lauren’s wedding (I think 22 weeks):