I was pretty bummed that I wasnt able to make it to the Aletheia women’s retreat this year. Their topic was humility and pride.
I’ve been thinking about those two things for months, because anytime I am sinning it stems from pride.
This morning, Abba was sweet to remind me in church of what a lowly state I came from. He didnt do this to make me feel guilty or condemned (Romans 8:1). I believe He had me remember to remind me of His saving grace, just how great and Holy He really is.
You see there is probably one person who knows some of my deepest past sins beside Christ. I only told her to “get it out if you will”… I had already repented and confessed it to Christ, my precious mediator, but I wanted to bring it out of the darkness of my heart and mind verbally and let His light, love, and mercy heal that hurt, that shame, and the pain that it brought.
Those”secret sins” were brought out over four years ago, and I used to pray I would forget, forget a lot of my sin so that Satan couldnt haunt me with it. God is gracious to allow me to forget most of the time and not dwell on things of the past, because His word has prevailed in my life and changed me from the inside out. I have been healed and made whole by the one who cleansed lepers, spoke the world into motion, came through a virgin birth, is seated on the throne, etc! He didnt save me so that I could have my best life now… He freed me to glorify Him, live for Him, and be satisfied in Him! Not to live for myself, for Micah, for work, for family, or anything else but Him. How do I forget that sometimes in the “big” or “little” moments? I am not the main character of my life drama, He is.
I was given a sweet reminder about the grace that has covered my darkness, that has made me right with my Father and brought me into His family. I am thankful, even when the reminders hurt. They are for my good. They put everything in perspective. They tear down my pride and remind me that it is only by His grace that I have been saved (Ephesians 2:8-9) and that every good thing and person in my life is because of Him, not me or because of anything I did or deserve.
I dont write these things to make you wonder what I did, or to try and be super “spritual” but to make you wonder about the God that saves, redeems, and restores, and to remind you He is real, and still at work. There is no sin too great, no burden too heavy, no heart too hard that He cannot change.