Happy Birthday Poem.

Every year since I’ve been with Micah, I have made him a slideshow for his birthday. 

At the end of the slideshow I always read him some crazy poem I made up.

I figured the tradition must continue with Haddon! 

 

so here is Haddon’s  little birthday poem (a couple days late – it was a crazy weekend):

Oh Haddon, happy day sweet boy.

Today marks one year since your birth.

Besides your dad, you’re my favorite thing on earth

You have such a teachable heart

I never would have guessed that from the start

I pray He will make His face shine upon you

That I would care for you well too

You are a huge part of my mission

When showing people His great commission

You are my disciple little son

We’re running this race together and the fight has already been won

I’ve never worked so hard before

There is much work to do before you go out the door

I just love you so so much, come what may

I could smell your baby skin all day

You’ve changed me in so many ways.

I promise to love you dearly all of your days

Daddy and I strive to train and develop you in every place

Truly though, it’s only by God’s grace

You are His and not our own

In this life you are just on loan

Whether its 1 year, 20 years, or 63

I am so glad that God gave you to me

You are such a delightful child

The perfect combo of meek and mild

Mothers aka Nurturers.

I am thinking about what it means to be a mother as “mother’s day” approaches.

I have always had an awesome mama.

I gained an awesome mama through marriage.

I think I am an awesome mama (most of the time).

I can’t help but think though, for some women, this is a painful day.

A reminder of what they don’t have and what they long for.

I feel so much joy to have Haddon and my moms.

I know that not everyone has a great relationship with their mom or mother in law.

I know friends that want to experience pregnancy, birth, adoption, etc. and they don’t know if it’s in God’s plan for their life…

There is nothing I can do but be thankful, pray, and offer encouragement.

So, would you like to know something so encouraging to almost all of us women?

That we are designed and capable of mothering.

I looked up mother in the concordance.

It can be a word used to refer to mothering… humans, relationships, animals and even as a place,  figurative language, or symbolically.

Eve was called the mother of all living, before she gave birth to sons.

How awesome is that?

Don’t most women mother humans, relationships, and/or animals?

Probably a lot of you mother all three.

Being mothers should not define us.  Our identities are in Christ.

Mothering is a gift we get to take part in.

No matter what your role of mothering, thank you for the way you nurture life.

If there is one definite word to characterize my understanding of mothering a human and parenting this year, it is: different

All families are different.

All situations are different.

All children are different.

All mothers are different.

Happy Mother’s Day!

May you rely on His strength alone to be the best mother you can be, to whatever and whoever He has allowed you to mother.

10 Months.

At this point I don’t feel crazy for planning your first birthday!

You are growing up quickly little one.

It was so great to spend over a week together on our family adventure to TX.

You were a champ and even did better than mama sleeping outside and hiking long distances (it probably helped that you were carried on our backs…).

Our family loves you so much and it brings me so much joy to see them with you.

This past month you got your two top teeth.

You are starting to balance without holding on to things, coast along toys, and can walk (a little) while holding on to your hippo walker.

You are a fanatic over certain toys and books (frog friend, duck, pat the bunny, veggies tale books that sing)

I am convinced that you talk.  You say mama (but is sounds more like mum mum mum), dada, ba (for bottle, book, block, bird, bear) really ba is what comes out of your mouth the most I would say, when you see a dog you say da, and open your mouth for kisses.  You also grunt a whole lot.  I think you want to say so much more than you are capable of right now.  So anyway, it is still more babbling than talking but it is the best!

You stopped nursing about a week ago, on your own.  I wanted to at least make it till a year but one day you wouldn’t do it, I tried to make you and you refused.  I realized how unnatural that was.  It was then that I realized that part of our relationship was done.  You haven’t tried to since.   I am so thankful that the Lord is faithful in not letting me feel guilty, depressed, etc about it.  I worked SO hard for a long time.  I don’t say that out of pride, it’s just that it was a struggle for us for a long time, I never made a lot, have a super slow let down, and had to pump all the time at work, on business trips, etc just to keep my measly supply up and I don’t regret one second of it.  I am thankful and I continue to be.  Thanks for making it easy for us to move on.

I was a little nervous that our bond wouldn’t be the same.  HA, boy was I wrong.  I can’t leave your sight when we’re home right now without you “scurrying” as fast as you can into whatever room I am in yelling “mum mum mum”.  I don’t know if it’s your age, the transition back from TX, quitting nursing, or a combination of all of it but this separation anxiety is annoying/pretty cute.  Just don’t do that too long please… I’d like to be able to go to the bathroom without you scratching my legs.  You still love your babysitters and strangers though!  That is a blessing; it’s just something about when we’re home you need to be with me…

You are the most extroverted baby I have ever seen.  You literally crawl on people at bible study and just make the rounds to see everyone who is there.   Seriously, you can be in the worst mood at home and we go some where and you LIGHT up.

Every month just gets better and better sweet son.  We love getting to know you.

You sweet son, are my greatest, hardest, fascinating, most motivating, delightful, changing, joyous, entertaining, hard earned and undeserved (in a good way) work.

Check out Haddon’s previous months here.

Old Rag Mountain Hike

w/baby…

I need to remember this day.

What started out as terrible turned into the best day, and a whole lot of lessons were learned along the way.

It was 8:30 pm we had cleaned the house, gone grocery shopping, fed and changed the baby and were ready for the drive to Warrenton.  After having just re-sleep trained him, we weren’t ready to mess up his schedule before the big camping trip in Texas.  He slept the whole way.  The plan was working perfectly.  We get to Warrenton around 11 and try to make the transition from car seat to pack n play.  UTTER FAILURE.  The softie in me couldn’t let him “cry it out”.  He was in a new room, new things, he heard his grandparents voices.  What if he was scared?… But by midnight or a little later I couldn’t take it.  “Micah take a turn with your son.  We are not going hiking tomorrow.  Text your friends right now and tell our friends to go without us.  Well at least we aren’t getting up at 6am to go.  This is crazy, we are crazy”.

Micah lovingly takes Haddon and gives him a comfort bottle (don’t judge) and sings him back to sleep.  Of course it works.  I for real think babies can sense your mood, and mine had not been nice.

I text my friend Beth: “So Haddon did not take the transition from car seat to bed well… Don’t know if the time will change, will keep ya posted.”

Micah texted his friends but his text made it sound like we definitely wouldn’t be there on time.

After playing a noise app all night long my phone died.  I didn’t tell Beth that the time HAD indeed changed.

The whole way to the mountain I tell Micah I am still excited to be going but I can’t shake the disappointment I feel that we missed our friends, that I failed texting Beth a more accurate estimate of our ETA, etc etc.  I tell him if we are going to do fun things with Haddon we should never, ever, under any circumstances have expectations like arrival times (he reminds me that we will never hang out with anyone else if that’s the case…).  Oh, right. Well how about just not early ones then.

If you know my friend Beth, you know that she is grace personified.  She exemplifies Christ like no other.  Forgiveness and Mercy are her nature.

She waited for two hours for us at a little café in Sperryville, VA.  We miss each other dearly and she wanted to be with us Saturday.  Thank you Beth.  Once again in life you show me what forgiveness, patience, and sweetness look like.

We get to the trailhead at 10:30 finally.

The others had started of course.

Old Rag Hike is an interesting one… what starts as a nice steady incline towards the mountain turns into a rock scramble before you even hit the rocky summit, coming down the mountain is steep but you end up on a scenic fire road that is a little easier on the heart and lungs (not so much your calves and toes).

We decide to take the fire road up.  Micah and I have done the hike together a couple times; Beth hasn’t yet so she doesn’t know she is “missing” the rock scramble.  We also figure we have to run into our other friends if we take this way.

I am SO glad we did.

The whole way up, every other adventurer coming down says: “oh there is a lot of ice ahead” “you might want to turn back” “you have a baby on this hike?”.

I was already in a good mood.

Something happens to me in the mountains.  Their magnificence points me to God and gives me strength every time I’m in them.  I see them on 64 and tear up.  I miss them so much.

Instead of feeling disappointed again, I kindly smile and say “oh, how far up?  Thanks for the warning.  Don’t worry we know we might have to turn back”

My husband rocks and carried that sleeping baby on his back the whole way.  We took the snowy path less traveled.  It was icy in some parts but we were wearing good shoes and utilized the trees like they were the best walking sticks around.

We meet up with our friends at the summit.  Eat, take pictures, hide behind trees and from people to pee and head back down the same way we came up.  We hiked back down all together having fun conversation about mountain people, babies, insane past hikes, and everything in between.

It’s okay that we didn’t do the whole loop.

It’s okay that we were late.

It’s okay that Haddon didn’t nap in his pack n play.

It’s okay that other people were shocked to see a baby on a mountain.

We know our strengths, we trust our God, and we know our limits.

It was the best day.  Haddon loved being outdoors.  He slept amazing that day and that night.

I am so thankful I didn’t let disappointment in the way things were supposed to go cripple me from enjoyment.  We want to adventure with our kids.  I want to be calm and fun.  Not frazzled and distressed when things go differently.

I learned a lot Saturday. Grace not perfection…

One in particular is that I need to unplug more often.  It was so nice to only use my phone as a camera and nothing else.

If anyone ever stumbles across this blog and wants a few tips on how we fed, changed diapers, etc on a mountain.  Comment and I’ll be glad to share what worked and what didn’t for us.

Eyes Wide Open

This morning my husband woke me up and would not let me give him my “5 minutes” hand signal.

He cuddled me, took away my down comforter, told me the coffee was ready, he went through it all.

I finally got up, hugged him back with eyes closed and went to wake up my baby to feed him.  Sometimes I think it’s so unfair the schedule he has to follow because of Micah and my life… but anyway…

I fed him and hopped in the shower.

As I reached up to grab the shampoo I (still groggy) almost knocked over every bottle that was on the shelf.  My first reaction – shut your eyes as tight as you can!  I didn’t think about it.  It’s just what happened.

As if closing my eyes was really going to protect me from the falling boulders… okay bottles, but still.

How often in life do we do that, especially in periods of unknown or suffering? Just wait for it to all be over?  For the next season to come, and this one to pass?

The older I get and the more I desire to be like Him, I am realizing you cannot just “be carried” by Him and then look back like the poem Footprints would have us do.

Sure, there are times we need to be carried, need to close our eyes and be still.

But really, I am realizing I want to WATCH what He is doing in my life, even when I don’t understand it.

There is only one way I can do that in the here and now, without it being reflection, and that is to keep my eyes wide open.

I will try to be like my son, everything is new and sometimes enjoyable, most things are changing constantly, and almost everything is not understandable or always enjoyable – yet he still watches and he follows (sometimes with whining).

Lord, help me be like an uncomplaining child, secure in Your love for me and my identity in You, when it comes to You teaching me, help me know You always have the best planned.  Help me keep my eyes open to You and close them from the distractions and lies of this world. Amen.

 

7 months.

Haddon Isaiah –  how are you 7 months old today?!

Every month I write that statement like “what another month? Crazy, I didn’t see it coming”.

The truth is though I see you every day. I see your good side and your bad side. Your sad side and your happy side.  Your gentle/calm side and your little bit crazy side.  I love every bit of you to pieces!

You know your name and you know how to scoot to me when I call you!

You are a little scooter bug.  I don’t know when the criss-cross action happens for crawling but you definitely get around.  One of my favorite moments this past month is when you found us!  I was cutting dad’s hair in the bathroom and you were happily playing in the living room.  Well I guess you heard the Sho Baraka jams and mom and dad talking and had to come see what it was all about.  I had just said, I should go check on him and when I turned to do so you were inch worming your way into the bathroom door!  “hey, where’s the party at!?”

One of my least favorite moments of the month is when I got sick while I was holding you… all over the living room, I think some even landed on your pjs, sorry.  Don’t worry daddy changed you right away and you never got sick!

You have tried all sorts of food.  You made a really great reaction to black beans!  Weird.

You are also obsessed with bananas.  I put them in this little net that someone got you, it has a handle so you hold it all by yourself and suck till there is nothing left.  It’s the funniest you little monkey.

You have mastered the art of sitting… when we place you in that position.  You are just figuring out how to get out of that position by yourself.

You used to only like pacifiers to go to sleep but now you have learned to put them in your mouth by yourself and I feel like every time I turn around you have found a new one.

We had a little bit of sleep regression this month (much to mama’s dismay…) I blame it on a lot of things but I think we are finally getting back to a routine.

You are teething.  Those teefers haven’t popped through yet but I can feel the buds and you attack most things trying to get relief, including your papa’s nose.

You have a little bit of separation anxiety… but it manifests differently than I expected.  Actually, I expected you to not get it since you like everyone.  You don’t like when any of your care takers leave you… (if you aren’t in the mood for it). Haha you are a little unpredictable that way… sometimes you are fine playing on your own for an hour.  Other times you want your loved ones right next to you!

At your 6 month check up you were in the 50th percentile for weight, height, and head circumference.  You won’t even know how that thrills me until you have your own baby someday.  Especially after the road we started with.

I also realized that you are a wiggler.  You never stop moving your feet, ever, and neither does your dad, which I never realized until I noticed it about you.

Now that you are getting more mobile you try to climb up in my lap, its the cutest.

What is not the cutest is that I have started to tell you “no” at certain things to instruct you not to touch and you laugh at me…this will not be acceptable son! Even though sometimes I have to turn and look away at your dad because I am laughing… Discipline is going to be way harder than I envisioned…

This month I feel like we are starting to interact together much more than before, and I love it so much.  I love you, I love being your mama, and I love the way you love me.

You sweet son, are my greatest, hardest, fascinating, most motivating, delightful, changing, and joyous work.

6 months.

5 months.

4 months.

3 months.

2 months.

1 month.

A Mother’s Lullaby

Last night going to bed, Haddon and I read a book called “I love you more”.

It’s a flip book about a “war” between a mom and her son about who loves who more.

When it was finished I looked at his sweet baby face and prayed, may the Lord bless you and keep you, make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you, and give you peace.

I put him in his bed awake but sleepy and his head popped right up like a little ground hog.

The last few weeks have been a little unpredictable when putting him to sleep.

If all his physical needs are met sometimes I let him cry himself to sleep.

When I can tell his teeth hurt sometimes I give him Tylenol or teething tablets.

Sometimes when he has emotional needs I want him to know I’m there.

I turned off his light and just started humming lullabies.

He made his little “nom nom” noises on his pacifier and drifted off to sleep.

It isn’t always that easy (especially lately) but last night was sweet.

Here are two of my favorites:

Shirley Temple/Goodnight My Love:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lk_89SuvDjQ

Goodnight my love
Your Mommy is kneeling beside you
Goodnight my Love
To dreamland the Sandman will guide you
Come now you sleepy head
Close your eyes, go to bed
My precious sleepyhead
You mustn’t play peek-a-boo

Goodnight my love
Your little Dutch dolly is yawning
Goodnight my love
Your Teddy bear’s called it a day
Your Dog is fast asleep, my but he’s smart
Sleep tight my love, goodnight my love
God bless you, pleasant dreams sweetheart

Goodnight my love
The tired old moon is descending
Goodnight my love
My moment with you now is ending
It was so heavenly, holding you close to me
It will be heavenly
To hold you again in a dream

The Stars above
Have promised to meet us tomorrow
‘Till then my love
How dreary the new day will seem
So for the present dear, we’ll have to part
Sleep tight my love, goodnight my love
Remember that your mine, sweetheart

Kristyn Getty/A Mother’s Prayer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mtGp-hpJJs

Before you close your eyes to sleep
I have a promise still to keep
As I hold you in my arms
I pray your little frame grows strong
And that faith takes hope while you are young
This is my prayer for you

Hold my hand, I’ll teach you the way to go
Through the joys, through the years
The journey of these years
May you trust Him till the end
May you trust Him in the end

This world is not as it should be
But the Savior opens eyes to see
All that’s beautiful and true
Oh may His light fill all you are
And the jewel of wisdom crown your heart
This is my prayer for you

Hold my hand, I’ll teach you the way to go
Through the joys, through the tears
The journey of these years
He is with us till the end
He is faithful till the end

You’ll travel where my arms won’t reach
As the road will rise and lead your feet
On a journey of your own
May my mistakes not hinder you
But His grace remain and guide you through
This is my prayer for you

Take His hand and go where He calls you to
And whatever comes, seek Him
With all your heart
This will be my prayer for you

Father hear my ceaseless prayer
Oh keep her in your care

5 Months.

4 months

3 months

2 months

1 month

Haddon, at 5 months old you are getting more entertaining by the day!

We are about to go to grandma’s house for thanksgiving!!!  I can’t wait to bring you home to where I grew up.

I’ll make this quick.

Here are some major points for the past month:

Rolled over

Your cloth diapers prevent you from doing it as fast (and I think as quickly as you could have).  You have the hang of it now though, no matter which diaper you are wearing.

 

Went on a hike

You went on your first mountainous hike! You slept on daddy’s back almost the whole time until I nursed you at the summit.

 

Vision

You must have great eye sight like mommy and daddy.  You get so distracted these days!  I kind of imagine your little mind like Dori (she is a character from a cute movie I’ll show you someday).  Sometimes when nursing you get so distracted by… coffee, water, rings, voices, windows, name it, you are trying to see!!  I am pretty sure you see everything now.

Much more vocal

You are a squealer and I love it!

Opinionated

You make the craziest faces.  I can’t wait till you start talking; I just know it is going to be hilarious.

Rice cereal

You have eaten it a handful of times.  You don’t hate or love it, but you aren’t entirely sure what to do with it.  Since you are just fine on the caloric intake, I don’t give it to you much yet.  I am going to let you try something more yummy like sweet potatoes tomorrow.  Your pediatrician said: “it would be a shame not to let him!”

Sitting up

It’s getting there.  You topple over a lot though.

Loves bath time

Oh man, the hotter the better too.  If your water even gets lukewarm you start “yelling” at me and when I add warmer water you laugh.

Jumps

Thanks to your baby Einstein activity jumper, you are learning to jump around.  Now when we hold you standing on our laps we have to be very careful because you keep on jumping!

We love watching you learn and grow sweet boy.

You darling, are my greatest, hardest, fascinating, most motivating, and delightful work.

Working Mama

I felt funny writing that title.  I suppose it would be more appropriate to say, “Working outside, inside, and all around the home Mama”

I have heard in the last two months that I make working and being a mom look so easy.

It is not, at all, but let me be clear when I say…staying at home with Haddon during the day was the hardest work I’ve ever done.

Ladies, that do it (especially with your own and mine) I hold you in very high esteem.  Ladies, that go to work, I understand you and your choices and can relate to you very well.

This blog isn’t going to be very cohesive, because the truth is, I don’t know what is “right” for our family.  I just know what we’re doing “right now”.

Should that ever change, and then change again, I don’t want to feel like what we are doing is wrong.

I think in life you just roll with the punches.

I always thought (still think) that I would/will be a “stay-at-home” mom, someday.

When I got pregnant (surprisingly), I never thought about the potential of staying at home, Micah didn’t have full time work or benefits yet and we just made plans like I would go back.

Well, he has those now, but I still chose to “go back”.

Since we have been married (almost 2.5 years), we have lived in 4 different homes (rentals or other people’s), finished school, started and ended jobs, and unexpectedly got pregnant.

That’s a lot of change.

I wasn’t sure (am still not sure) I could handle the change of “not working” after less than 2 years.

I didn’t like that when I was home with him I spent countless hours on blogs and Facebook (it’s one thing for me every so often while I feel like I am being productive, it’s another when I feel like that’s all I’m doing), hardly getting things done (real hard for this Type A, “to do” list checker offer), and being emotionally exhausted by the time Micah got home.

I am sure some of that would look different now that Haddon isn’t such a newborn and doesn’t have to be held 24/7 😉

If I do stay at home someday I would rather it be when Haddon can remember it more than right now when he is so small.  Not that he isn’t being shaped right now, but you know… when he is older and tells stories, he won’t be like: “remember that one time I was 5 months old and you went to work”.

So anyway, I started praying about who would watch Haddon.

By God’s grace and provision, we undeservingly have three amazing babysitters for him.

I know he is loved while I am at work.

I know he is cared for by women that have the same beliefs and values I do.

I know he is “ok”.

I know he has fun!

Being at work means (in no particular order):

• I don’t get to see Haddon for more than a handful of hours during the day.
• I am most often exhausted.
• Mornings and evenings can look a little crazy if we’re running behind.
• I have to pump WAY more than I care to.  I think I can hear that sound in my dreams.
• Haddon loves people and will go to anyone.
• Haddon knows how to roll with the punches (for the most part).
• Micah and I make a dag on amazing team. Seriously, I could not be half the woman I am without him.
• I have an easier time not idolizing Haddon. (except on weekends and the evenings, where Micah says: “did you really just take another picture of him, look at your phone, that’s all there is!”)
• I am more patient and loving when I am with Haddon.
• Micah and I know our time together is precious and I think we respect how much each of us do.
• My house looks like people live in it.  I really do like magazine picture homes, but come on, really?  I don’t believe in them anymore.
• I absolutely cherish the time I am with my boys.

There are many more, but these are just some thoughts.

Just a quick note on a biblical point of view, because so many Christian moms stay home (which I truly do think is awesome), it is not sin if you dont, I don’t see any where in scripture where woman are commanded to stay home.  Sometimes I feel like Christian communities can be so condeming of that (not mine at all), just in general.

The bible does say that we are to be homemakers, and that looks very different at each home.

As soon as Micah (well hopefully before Micah) tells me, I need to prioritize the home more, I’ll stay at home, full-time.

Until then, I’ll run this crazy life race by faith, anxiety free, trusting that my family is growing from each experience we have.

So should you, whatever you’re doing.  Do it by faith-

Hebrews 11:6

And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.

Oh and just a little peek into our lives during the morning…

If you looked in the window at 7 am, you would usually find us all on the couch together, with coffee of course, and Micah reading to Haddon and I, while he nurses.

If you looked in the window at 8:55 am, you might find this:

Haddon’s room, him still undressed, me getting ready, spit up on my shirt, and laundry that needs to be folded in the background.

4 months.

3 months

2 months

1 month

You are so fun Haddon Isaiah.

You make crazy faces.

You love to blow spit bubbles.

You put everything in your mouth.

You look like the masculine version of mommy.  If you see my baby pictures they are hilariously similar.  I was even a hand sucker too.

You seem to have adjusted fine to being at the babysitters.  We are so thankful for them.

You learned to roll over (you don’t do it a lot yet).  Once we went in your room to see why you were crying in your crib, you were on your back and your little hands were clasped together.  Cutest thing ever.

You have super strong legs from standing and playing with us and your arms and chest are getting stronger all the time.

You still don’t have much hair (like at all…) I’m afraid you took after me in that area.  It will come in around the time you are two haha

You are definitely putting on the pounds thanks to the mixed milkshake of breast milk and formula.

You seem to have found your voice.  Now not only do you coo and try to imitate us, you have started “screaming & squealing”.

I seriously value our time together now, and I’m pretty mama bear about protecting it… our family is in a very busy season of life right now.

I don’t bother to heat your bottle because well, I don’t want you to have too strong a preference to things a certain way (besides swaddling, will you ever want your arms free at night?).  It’s why I don’t put on white noise for you or always make you sleep in the same place.  I want you to be flexible and roll with the punches.  This family does not have one week that looks the same!

I’ve realized if I want to spend more time with you I have to get up earlier and I have to get home earlier.

At 3 ½ months I let you CIO a couple times… it breaks my heart to hear you cry but when you are fed, burped, changed, comfy, have been cuddled and sung to, it is time to sleep and you will go to sleep on your own after 10 minutes.  At first I thought this would traumatize you and that you would hold it against me.  You don’t, when you wake up again you are as smiley as ever, and then I don’t feel bad.  I know it will be good for all of us in the long run.  I hope it is the beginning of me trying to teach you to be able to control your emotions and soothe yourself someday.

I’ve shed tears at the last two weddings during the daughter/father & mother/son songs.  Not out of sadness for when you leave us someday but out of excitement and sentiment about the man you will become.  If you are anything like your daddy you will be an amazing husband and father and the very thought of you blessing a woman someday like your daddy blesses me makes me excited and so so thankful to get to help teach you how.

I wonder more about you now than when I was pregnant with you.  Before it was more about your physical features – Who will he look like? Will he have ten fingers and toes? Etc!  Now I wonder about your personality, your favorite things, more and more about the person you are becoming and wondering how I pour into your soul and love you for who God is shaping you to be and wondering how I won’t “force” my own preferences, etc on you and let you have room to become the man you were created to be.  I wonder how to find that balance…

One time you scratched your nose.  One time you had a lot of snot.  One time you threw up.  I semi freaked.  Your papa tells me I better get ready because you are a boy… what does that mean?..

You teach me a lot little boy and you motivate me like nothing else in this world.  I wish I was so diligent in all areas of my life.

You sweet little one, are my greatest, hardest, fascinating, and most motivating work.