This past Sunday we had the privilege of hearing from the word of God. 

Our church is going through the book of Exodus and our pastor Kevin brought a lot of attention to a certain matter… positioning.

Do you know how God asked the Israelites to camp after they were brought out of Egypt?!

By the sea, with their backs to Egypt

 “You want me to backtrack to the worst strategic place possible, march back to the kill zone?”

God wants His glory to be seen, again, and for the Egyptians to know that He is Yahweh.

10 plagues weren’t enough.  He is for His glory, He wants to be known.  So He positions the Israelites to help Him see through with His plan.  This isn’t about them; it is completely about Him and His name.

Their positioning put them in a great place of fear when they saw the Egyptians coming.  There was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide.  There was a whole lot of trust to rely on.

How often does God have us somewhere, with someone, for His purposes and all we can think about is the way if effects us, makes us comfortable, or uncomfortable?

He sometimes has a different plan than our plan.  His plan is always the right plan.

We have to believe that.  We have to trust that.  We have to walk in His calling and fear NOT.

The strongest negative imperative in the entire Hebrew bible is in this verse and it is to fear not.

^“And Moses said to the people, “Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will work for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall never see again. The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.”  Exodus 14:13 & 14

Hopefully, you know what happens after that… God clears the way, makes one obvious path for His people and uses that same path as one of destruction for those trying to hurt His people.

All this positioning of the Israelites has me thinking even more about Haddon’s positioning (I know I connect dots in weird ways).

If you aren’t new to this blog you know that I have a birth plan hope.  Sometimes I fear that it won’t go AT ALL as I hope and that I’ll have to get surgery (which I know, isn’t the worst thing). 

Sunday night Haddon changed positions into a very uncomfortable for mama one.  He didn’t stay in it.  In fact, I feel fine today (praise the LORD, seriously), his positioning makes all the difference in the world in how I move and feel.

I know he is getting cramped in there… we have a 3 day shy of full time baby so poor thing doesn’t have a lot of room.  He hasn’t dropped though and so still moves “as free as can be”.  I’m praying that he would be in the right position for his mama’s body to move him down to welcome him into this world without crazy amounts of intervention.

Would you join me in some prayers on position?  We would greatly appreciate it.

That Haddon would be physically positioned perfectly to have labor progress and come out on his own? 

On a more long term note…

That God would position his little heart to grow in the knowledge and wisdom of Him and position Micah and mine’s to be able to humbly serve and teach this little boy and each other?

Anyway, regardless of how Haddon decides to lay, and what happens with Micah’s work situation, and where we live, and yada yada yada. 

I need to be still, watch, and know that He is God, hoping someday my faith will be counted as righteousness. 

• In case you’re interested in more on God’s positioning of the Israelites, check out our sermon from Sunday. 
• In case you’re interested in more on baby’s positioning and how much it affects birth, check it out (how come no one talks about this stuff?!)

 

Two years ago in April Micah and I had engagement shots by the amazing Shay Cochrane at the Kiracofe’s farm (our friend’s parents farm to be exact).

We thought it would be fun to do our first maternity session in the same spot during the month of April.  This time Sasha, one of the awesome photographers, from the husband/wife duo of Rothwell Photography (they photographed our wedding) did the shoot.

I’ll just direct you over to the Rothwell’s blog to see the full maternity post. 

We took the maternity shots on our 1 yr 10 mo anniversary.  So of course Kate’s cupcakes had to make it into one of the pictures!

Here are a couple comparisons though-

In the barn:

 

 

 

 

 

The one on the right was taken after many attempts of Sasha trying to get Micah to act “natural” doing a model pose.  I said well… let me show you what Micah’s natural really is! The picture is the result.  That’s my husband

River:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kisses:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

By the barn window:

 

 

Just reflecting a little on life today… seems fitting.

Of course, I am very thankful to be physically be alive and well but I am even more grateful to be spiritually alive to what my Creator has intended for this earthly life.

I realize each day is a gift.  There is no guarantee of tomorrow. 

So many blessings, so much to be appreciative of and content with.

I’ve shared my birthday with many people before, mom used to plan really fun little birthday parties, and when I grew older we would usually at least get together to eat and have dessert.

Something new this year- I’ve never actually shared my body with someone on my birthday…

a friend asked me if I felt any different being 26, and I said no, but what feels different is having 35lbs strapped to the front of your body.

— 

Haddon,

You made me a mother this year, thank you for that gift.

Besides your daddy, no one has ever taught me to be so sacrificial, less vain, putting others needs and desires before my own.

It’s not always easy and no doubt it will just get harder, even if right now I can’t cross my legs and my back feels like it is bending like a bow.

Speaking of bows… I read this amazing quote yesterday:

“You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.  The archer bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the archer’s hands be for gladness.” – Khalil Gibran

Our pastor reminds us of the amazing truth that you are on loan to us little one. God chose me and daddy to be your parents, to raise you up and send you out.  You might be my baby right now, but I must constantly think of and help you prepare for making your mark for Him.  You have given me a new sense of purpose and a new role for my life, I’m 26 this year Haddon and Lord willing I have a lot left to do here, and I love that you are a huge part of that.

So as I continue to bend (kind of physically) but mostly figuratively, be patient with me sweet one, forgive me a lot, and let me love and teach you.  I know you will teach me more than I could have ever imagined.  You already have.

What I’m really excited about is celebrating YOUR birthday next month.

You are already such a gift to us!

Quote by Charles Haddon Spurgeon, Picture from “desiringgod”

To my lovely wife:

I’m so very excited about the opportunity to raise up a child with you. It is impossible not to take for granted the confidence that I have in your ability to teach, serve, love, nurture, and disciple Haddon. Your love for him is already evident by how you prioritize his body over yours and how you speak about our future with him in the coming years!

Your joy with him will be infectious, as is already particularly evident now by how you do “your pregnancy dance” during which you grab your son and move him side to side!  Haddon is certainly very blessed to have you as a mother, (although I’m afraid that we are going to have to decrease our goofiness or else he’ll acquire our mannerisms and get made fun of in social settings) and I know that your affection and compassion for him will be level-headed and grounded in God’s grace as you understand his current need for Christ to be the Savior of his soul.

(if you’re wondering what Sarah’s pregnancy dance looks like, watch the video below! if video does not work, go to the following website: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hM6Q3-6B0q4&feature=youtu.be )

You have made me very proud to unashamedly boast about you throughout the last almost two years of marriage, and the transition into becoming a three-person family has only increased my realization of how much of a God-glorifying servant that you are.

I look forward to understanding the Fatherhood of God toward His Son, and to preparing Haddon’s heart to need, love, and live for the Gospel for all of his life just as we also try to together.

Thank you, beautiful wife and Mom!

Happy Mother’s Day, Sarah!

Disclaimer: I am not writing this post to argue with anyone, so please save your energy for another blog if you do not have the same beliefs and that is your desire at the end of this post.

I use this blog as a platform of my faith and as a journal for my family.  That is what you are reading if you visit here.

—

I believe in the truth of scripture.  I believe that all of it is profitable. (2 Tim 3:16-17)

I believe you have to read it very carefully and have direction from the Holy Spirit to understand it fully.

I believe that marriage is as serious a covenant as can be- almost as serious as the one God made with His children (I said almost, after all, it is just a picture of it).

I believe that marriage is a God-ordained covenant that God defined and uses to refine and sanctify us.

I believe in God as creator and sustainer of the entire universe and all things in it, including and especially people.

I believe that God gave the first definition of marriage. (Genesis 2:18-25)

Thus, I cannot bring myself to believe we have the right to give marriage a new definition. “A definition of marriage that was established on Day Six of Creation and has been the benchmark of civilization for 6,000 years.” – Doug Phillips

Taken from John Piper’s blog (which I encourage people to read, which is in no way hateful, but very factual, according to Piper’s and most conservative Christian’s beliefs):

“God ordained marriage with the words: “A man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).  It is one thing to tolerate sin. It is another to build society on it.”

I do not believe in hating on people for their sin.  I would despise being hated on for my sin.

I do believe in loving people.  I do believe pointing people towards Him is the most loving thing we can do.

I will always think its interesting/unfortunate we talk about “certain” sins more than we do others.

What about pride, selfishness, covetousness, etc.  How come we don’t get in fueds and uproars about those things?

I do not believe in judging unbelieving, unrepentant people by God’s standards.

However with all of that said -

Just as public laws wouldn’t get changed or made if people didn’t speak out, God’s laws wouldn’t be remembered if people did not continue to tell them.

I have a responsibility to teach my son about God and call to remembrance the things God has done and said.

He is not going to grow up in a world where they are the most popular (obviously).

And so, with all this talk/fighting on the internet.  This is my very small way of standing up for what I believe God meant when He made marriage and why I will not vote otherwise.  Even if I get hated on by the people that tell me to stop judging/hating/etc (John 15:18–19)

I hope I have honored Him and His word like He commands 1 Peter 3:15 -

15 but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect

My current plans hopes for things practically dealing with baby boy:

• Natural delivery
• Breastfeeding
• Cloth diapering 95% of the time (Softbums are so cool)
• Sleeping in crib from the beginning
• At least 6- 8 weeks completely off work with him, then work part-time from home for another 4 weeks
• A schedule that works for him and us by 8 weeks

{Lots of those things are controversial and “hot-topics” in the blogosphere, parenting books, etc}.

Some of you may be thinking “yea-right” but let me assure you that I am one of the most realistic people I know.  A girl can hope.  These are some of my practical hopes.  I’m excited to see how things work out. 

Since the beginning of this pregnancy I have said the whole process will be one where I learn to trust God, and see Him demonstrate Himself faithful.  He has definitely not proved me wrong yet.  Although I must admit things have happened in mysterious and wonderful ways, but not ways that I would have “planned”.    

Hope is the most wonderful gift.  It doesn’t disappoint. 

When you have faith in someone who you trust to work all things out for good, that will give you strength to endure, that can give you self-control, patience, etc, that promises to take care of you, that will never give you more than you can bear, and that knows the plans He has for you, it’s really not difficult to not get overly anxious, fearful, or nervous.

So I have faith and trust that no matter what happens whether it is according to my hopes or not, He has good plans for this family, plans that will see He is glorified through it all.

My hope is in you Lord.  My strength is in you Lord.  All.Day.Long.

Let us never forget we can’t rely on ourselves, our plans, or even our hopes. 

We must rely on the Giver of Life and what He has or doesn’t have for us.

bring May babies? 

Well, probably not, and while my body might not mind it so much if he did come early, I think it’s best Haddon stays in there and continues to develop till he is good and ready to face this world.

This past month has been one of the busiest of the year.  We felt the support and generosity of friends and family like when we got married.  Only this time it felt a little crazier… I can’t explain it other than it is for our growing family.  It wasn’t just love for Micah and I (like when we were married and you all knew us), it has been love for someone none of us know yet, Haddon.  I have tears in my eyes as I think of the love for our son that has been shown.  We have such a picture of how God takes care of us and I honestly hope that I am as a joyful of a giver to my son in midnight feedings, etc as yall have been to us this past month. 

That idea of joyful sacrifice, giving of myself in all sorts of ways, etc is a post I’ll save for another time…  It came up this weekend traveling with Micah.  We have some of our best talks when we drive, I love it.

Anyway, we literally just need to get a breast pump I think.  I think he is pretty covered (for a while) with everything else.  To all who have loved us, thank you.  My thank you notes don’t seem like enough expression of our gratitude, but seriously, we appreciate you so much.

We have had every weekend jam packed with friends and family, and a lot of travel.  I could literally write a post about each weekend, all the amazing things, devotionals, prayers, people, presents, activities, etc involved.  I could post hundreds of pictures.  Maybe someday I will, but for now, here is a group shot from each weekend.

The first weekend of April, we spent in Roanoke at “cousin’s weekend”.

{Cousin’s Weekend}

The second weekend of April, we were in Harrisonburg, VA for a baby shower (plus other exciting events).

{Harrisonburg Shower}

The third weekend of April, we stayed home, had our moms in town, and went to a baby shower.

{By Grace Community Church Shower}

This last weekend in April, we went to Winchester, VA for a baby shower (had maternity pictures done and went to Warrenton for Mrs. Downs and Jenn’s birthday celebrations).

{Winchester Shower}

In case you are wondering how I am doing besides feeling overwhelmed with gratefulness. 

I still feel great.  Sleep is getting harder.  My middle region is getting larger (that might be an understatement).  My thoughts are going faster.   I am starting to slow down (kind of).  I am excited (and nervous). 

Tomorrow is May 1st , and the day I get to say “we get to meet our son next month”.

when…

1. Husband video tapes you trying to get out of bed (true story, I asked for help and he grabbed the ipod)
2. People at work ask you when you are going on leave
3. People at work say please don’t have him here
4. Wake up approximately 4x a night to either switch sides or pee
5. People see you on the street and just smile or say “congratulations”
6. Asked at least twice a week how many weeks you have left.  Months people!  I am not down to a week countdown yet
7. The lawyer you meet in the elevator says he is a lawyer for wills, trusts, and real estates and then tells you to make sure you have a will in place
8. People ask why you still wear heels or walk up stairs.  I will until I waddle.

*A Bonus*

Me: “Doctor, do you think I am too big for what week I am?”

Doctor: “Sarah, I’ve been married for 30 years and it has not been by answering questions like am I too big”

Despite hilarious comments, Haddon and I are measuring perfectly (aka I measure the amount of centimeters he is in his gestational week). 

I’ll tell you one thing though; I am looking forward to the pool opening.

Dear Haddon,

In April…

We are in our 10 week countdown which means less than 3 months until you and I have the craziest experience together ever.  Labor &  delivery.

Daddy and I went on a tour of the hospital so we could better anticipate that day when it arrives.

I’m holding out on going as long as possible because:

a)      They won’t let me eat once I’m admitted

b)      There are no bathtubs just showers

When you start making your entrance obvious and it’s still early enough to stay home I am going to make you cupcakes for your first birthday.  We will share them with the family, friends, and staff in the hospital. 

I will be making you these.

Our friend Suzy made us these the day we found out you would be a little boy and she put blue frosting on them for us   No matter what labor and delivery looks like for us it will be a special day.  Your very first birthday! Daddy is going to be our coach and I’m sure he will be really encouraging and helpful but you and I have to work together to get you into this world (so please cooperate- be head down, don’t get in distress, etc, thanks).

I am getting your room ready for you and folding and organizing all your little clothes in the order you will most likely wear them.  Daddy’s co-workers had a surprise shower for him and gave you so many cute little things.  We were so touched! I’ve never heard of the daddy getting showered.

Today I ordered your crib!  Don’t be sad that you can’t sleep with daddy and I, we’re making your bed especially comfy and cute for you. 

This past weekend I went to Corolla to be with a family.  I used to watch the girls when I was in college.  I forgot sun block… and even though I was only outside for a short amount of time, your home looks like a giant pink beach ball.  I’m glad you are protected from the rays even though mommy was foolish.  You will get to go to the OBX in August.  Your great grandma Ruth has a cottage there so hopefully you will have lots of fun memories from the beach every summer.  I will be remembering sunblock for you though…

This week something else arrived – allergies.  I thought you had somehow made me immune to pollen this year because daddy’s started bothering him a couple weeks ago and mine hadn’t at all.  Alas, they are here and in full swing on the left side of my face.  I have to tell people at work I am not crying because I am emotional and hormonal; my eye just won’t stop watering.   When you are old enough I will feed you local honey and hope allergies stay away from you.

We have a busy month little one.  We are out of town almost every weekend but one this month.  I promise I will rest more in May and June.  Work is in full swing too, we just turned in a project and I hope to finish off another one before taking leave to be with you for three whole months!

I am still trying to figure out who will care for you when those months are over.  Our heavenly Father has never failed to provide for us though so I’m not worried about you I just want to make wise decisions for you.

Well, that’s all for now but we love you and get more excited about meeting you all the time!  You just stay in there and keep growing though please.

Oh, and one other thing.  I absolutely am obsessed with feeling you move around in there, but please stop finding your comfortable spot in my left ribcage – it hurts.

Love,

Mama

That’s how long I’ve been married to my sweet husband.

Today he woke me up like he usually does.

With sweet kisses and getting back into bed even though he has been up for 2 hours, to cuddle for a minute until I can actually open my eyes.

Then he did what he does sometimes,

him: “do you need some coffee?”

me: makes a sound that resembles mhmm

him: back with the coffee, holding it up to my nose, “come on make your noise”.

me: mmmm (you have to hear it in person to understand)

While he took a shower I prayed, and sipped my coffee, and rubbed my belly thanking God for our son.

He came out and we read a letter from a book called “Note to Self”.  It is an excellent quick read, good for devotionals, etc.  We highly recommend it.

This morning’s was a note to self about pride, the instigator of all sin.  So good, humbling, and convicting.  Wonder what I’ll do with it today? 

Portion of 1 Peter 5:5 “God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble.”

Yesterday, Micah’s co-workers threw him and another lady a surprise baby shower.  I was invited to come be part of the surprise.  It was our first “shower” and as I saw him hold up those mini shoes and onsies, open the diapers and say he is going to try and change all of them (apparently our pastor gave him this advice, Kevin Hass- thank you.period.), hear his co-workers talk about how nice, sweet, helpful, and humble he is, and hear Micah talk about Haddon’s upcoming arrival with a sparkle in his eyes, I felt more blessed by the second.

Who am I that I get to spend my life with such an awesome man of God?  It is evident he has an awesome reputation because of the transforming work Christ has done in his life, and it’s not only obvious to me.

We were learning about qualities of elders on Sunday and my heart literally felt like it was getting bigger and more grateful with every characteristic taught.  I don’t care if Micah is ever an official “elder” of a church.  He embodies so many things biblical men are supposed to look like.  I am more than proud of him.

I am also humbled that he is my leader.  I can’t wait to see him father Haddon.

We’ll spend our 1 year, 9 month anniversary by going on a Riverside Hospital Tour for labor and delivery and then scootin on over to bible study.  When we get home we’ll eat Kate Sacra’s wedding cupcakes as is our monthly anniversary tradition.

I am thankful for one more day of waking up by his side, and one more month of marriage.  I hope for many more.

Thank you Father for my sweet husband who teaches me and makes life so full.